Being a Foster parent
Here on this page of my website I am going to give new foster parents helpful advice for caring for a foster care youth going through so much trauma. Another piece of advice I am going to give on this page is how to manage difficult behaviors of being a foster parent and how to change the dynamic between the foster child and the family taking in the foster child. When adding another child into the mix of other children it can be hard on all of the children. The foster child can sometimes feel scared and nervous when walking into a new setting and the biological child can feel like they are being replaced.
Role of a Parent |
Why is it important to be emotionally stable before taking in a Foster care youth? |
"The foster parents do not replace the parental authority of the child’s family, but rather become reunification partners, supporting and maintaining the child’s connection with the birth family.” Annie E Casey
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Becoming a new foster parent takes a lot of responsibility and being emotional stable and ready. Foster parents who are emotionally stable are aware of their surroundings, feelings and behaviors. They have learned ways to deal with the stress and problems that arise due to the foster care system. They feel good about what they are doing. However, many things happen in your life that can disrupt your emotional stability and lead to feelings of depression. These things include:
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Parenting Difficult Behaviors
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Parenting Difficult Behaviors
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When a parent brings foster children into the home, the additional child will change your family dynamics. After all, it is not just the adults who will be fostering this child. Your own children will have an important role in the well-being and safety of your new arrival.
Take some time to sit down with your child and remind them why you chose to be a foster parent. Share with them what you know, and remind them that the foster child is probably feeling hurt and scared. Ask them to share their feelings about having another child in the home. Tell your children that it will take time to form a relationship with a foster child. Reassure your child that you will always be there for them. |
Remember first and foremost, you are CHOOSING to be a foster parent. You need to make sure that you are going into foster care with the intention of having the child in your home be loved and cared for as if they were your own. This sounds good, until the first fight between your biological child and foster child.
All children fight. It is not the foster child or the biological child who is always wrong. Jealousy is a large part of sibling fights. The biological child is jealous because this new child came in and took all your attention (similar things happen when a new baby is born) or they get jealous that the new child has so many people who spend “special time” with the new child (caseworkers, etc.). Meanwhile, foster children are jealous because they just want to be with their family. They do not see the new family as being theirs (sometimes for a long time). The foster child also sees any attention given to the biological child as being more than what they get. |